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Scrooge on the High Plains

It is Christmastime and, once again, I am driving from South Dakota to Texas. I am not moving in a straight line. I am wondering, as I have done almost every Christmas for the last forty years. By December, most of the autumn work is done on the ranch, the ponds are frozen in South Dakota, and I have the chance to follow the ducks south. The ducks are fleeing the cold weather and I am fleeing the craziness of Christmas. This year’s falcon, Elsa, rides comfortably in the back of the Toyota 4 Runner. She stands, hooded, on the top of a dog kennel that holds, Shiner and Fargo. We drive hard, but we can’t escape Christmas.

Back in Rapid City, the malls are packed with shoppers; the traffic - even in my little town of 70,000 people - is out of control. Everyone has lost their minds in a struggle to buy more stuff that they really don’t need. My friends and family have always said that the reason I am such a Scrooge is that there have never been any children in my house. The closest I ever came to having a child of my own was when my now wife Jill and her daughter, Jilian, came to live with me. Jilian is now twenty-seven years old and has a child of her own. His name is Lincoln and he’s nineteen months old. Along with Lincoln’s dad, Colton, they live in a house at the other end of our ranch. I’m not much on babies but, in the last few months, Lincoln and I have started hanging out at least one afternoon a week. When I pick up a book he streaks for my lap with a smile bright enough that I could read by it.

Jilian was ten years old when I became her stand-in dad and for a few years, before her friends became all-important, then off to college, marriage, and motherhood, my Christmas migration to Texas was reduced to six or seven days of driving too fast. I always drive too fast. (This years I got a ticket before I was out of South Dakota.) Those years I spent a couple nights in rundown, Bangladeshi-owned motels on the way down, a few nights on the Texas line, and a couple days making my way back home. But for most of the last forty years I’ve spend a month or more in Texas, hiding from Christmas.

The little cowboy towns along my route do their best to impersonate busy cities. Their sidewalks are dressed in holiday style. When the NPR stations begin to fade in Nebraska and the Christian stations of Kansas and Oklahoma become the only option, the Christmas carols begin in earnest. Sometimes I hear The Little Drummer Boy five times in a single day. By the time I get to the sad feedlot and slaughter plant towns of central Kansas I am ready to kill Burl Ives and Bing Crosby. Feliz Navidad is painted on half the store windows. The waitresses in the taco shops and barbeque joints wear Santa Clause hats. I switch off the radio and get to the edge of town where I can watch the Great Plains stretching in front of me to infinity. I watch for wildlife and forget about Christmas for a few hours. But around Amarillo, Texas, I get bored and try the radio again. The country singers are butchering Silent Night, Jiggle Bells, and We Three Kings.         

In Dalhart, Texas, I watch a guy in oily coveralls and a hard hat creeping along the main street with a goofy smile on his face. He’s got a tricycle under one arm and a huge doll in the other. He’s trying to keep the presents out of sight - acting like a happy Grinch in the act of stealing Christmas. When he comes to the cross-street, then jogs to the rear of a battered pickup truck. He struggles with a blue plastic tarp in the truck bed and looks back over his shoulder toward a woman just emerging from a store. She is accompanied by a young girl of four or five and she holds the hand of a little boy who toddles along beside her. She distracts the kids and secretly waives for the oil-field worker to hurry-up and he doubles his efforts. By the time the kids look up, the tricycle and the dolly are safe under the blue tarp. I’m moving too fast but when I look back I notice that the little boy looks a little like Lincoln. Sandy-blond hair and holding his mother’s hand with his tiny one as he toddles along. Snoopy’s Christmas comes on the radio just as they disappear in the rear view mirror. Snoopy is being chased by the Red Baron. He’s being “forced to land behind the enemy lines.”

Most years I tried to stay in Texas until Christmas was safely past. There was seldom anything happening on December 25th to bring me home. I stay in a remote cabin owned by friends who ranch right on the Texas/New Mexico line. A couple miles off the dirt road, through a solitary field of yucca, the cabin waits for me – running water but no indoor toilet, telephone, internet connection, or the bedlam of Christmas. It always takes a couple days to evict the pack rats, but it’s really all I have ever needed. But this year, when I made the turn at the rusty gate jammed with tumble weeds, I wonder what Lincoln is doing. I wonder if he is playing with his cat, Ralph. I wonder if he might be visiting Erney, our resident Santa Clause look-alike, whose eyes really do twinkle in the presence of Lincoln. It is a black night with a sky shot-gunned with brilliant white stars. The radio is playing Snoopy’s Christmas again. By the time the cabin comes into sight I’m thinking that, this year, a few days might be enough. The radio signal is beginning to fade but I can still hear the Red Baron speaking in his cheesy German accent. “Merry Christmas, my friends!”  

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28 comments

  • I was hoping to meet you at the NAFA meet in Hutchinson KS last November. I heard old timers talk of the legendary meet in Alamosa ’78. I briefly spoke with one of them after hearing him mention your name. He was not sure you were flying anymore.

    Travis
  • I just discovered your books and your blog but most importantly your story and your truth. They are resonating deeply…thank you so much!

    Kelly Zelenka
  • Just finished your book about Broken Heart Ranch. You pull the reader in and I thank you for that. Lovely writing and love of the land a d her inhabitants. Again thank you. I may order some buff from you!

    Stephanie Ruff
  • This is lovely. Thank you. :)

    Leslie K. Yoder
  • Can’t tell you how much I look forward to Ranch Notes etc. and the picture, how precious. Am recooperating from shoulder replacement
    surgery and what a lift you have given my spirits. God Bless all.

    Janis Fitschen
  • Granpaw, they grow up in a hurry. Our only grandson turned 18 this summeer, and while it is nice to have an adult to do and share things with—-I miss the young years—-when papaw was important. Enjoy

    bill

    Bill Day
  • I hear you. Thanks for taking me along on the drive; the cabin sounds like a piece of heaven. Silence, except for Nature in whatever form She takes.

    When I was a kid, reading the Sunday ‘funnies’ was the high point of the morning; my big brother and I would fight over who would read them first, and we usually ended up reading them together. My favourites was ‘Rick O’Shay’, set in a Wild West town where Rick was the sheriff. His best friend was the town’s gunslinger, Hipshot. The Christmas strip usually had a bit about everyone heading to the town church for reverent celebration, and Hipshot would be heading the other way, out of town, much to the opprobrium of the the town’s people; only Rick smiled and doffed his cowboy hat in greeting. Invariably, we’d follow Hipshot as he rode out to the wilderness, where he, in the last frame, would be surrounded by the snow-capped mountains and steepled pines, covered with snow, holding his black hat in his hands and having a moment to share a word with the Peace on Earth.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    Enjoy your Peace, and have a safe journey home. :)

    Nancy
  • Dan,
    You are starting to learn the lesson that your first grand child will change YOU forever (even when you don’t share the same blood)! For the first time in your life you are someone you never were before – “Grandpa”. Suddenly, you have transformed into a new version of yourself. You can thank Lincoln for that! There may be others to come in the future and you will not love them any less; but Lincoln was the one who turned you into that new person and he will forever hold a special spot in your heart. A key unlocked a place in our hearts that we didn’t even know had been locked when Bill and I first held Alex.
    Merry Christmas to you and Jill – for all the right reasons! Kathy (Alex, Mallory & Anna’s Grammy)

    Kathy Day
  • Happy hunting, Dan. I wish you good slips with slow grouse and night skies that are merry and bright. Safe travels.

    Chuck Beatty
  • I always like your writing’s!

    Mary Flaherty
  • I’ll bet Lincoln is missing you. :-(
    Have a good escape.

    D. Brockway
  • A warm and welcoming “howdy” from deep in the heart of Texas, San Antonio. The pictures of you and Lincoln are so precious and to know that you travel with your faithful animal buddies , well, that’s just downright beautiful. Drive safely to and from wherever you go. May the Lord in heaven protect you and bless you abundantly, you and your whole family. G d bless your homestead, your land and all the buffalo you raise. Merry Christmas and a Happy and prosperous New Year. Blessings to all.
    Ms. Silva from San Antonio, Tx.

    Maricela C. Silva
  • You look very much like I remember my Dad! And, I so share your desire to flee from the holiday madness that almost drowns out the real meaning of the season. I’d like to share a poem I wrote a couple of years ago. I think you might just be able to relate to it:

    Northern Winter Solstice

    The sun arks low in the
    Silver blue December sky –
    The last leaves of Fall
    Hang suspended in the
    Frosty birdbath ice.

    There is a chill
    In the morning air –
    One’s breath hangs suspended
    In billowy clouds
    That softly rise to meet the Winter sun.

    There is a sense of urgency
    In the chatter of the wildlife –
    Make haste, make haste
    For Winter is upon us
    And we must make ready.

    And, now the night sky sparkles
    As the Winter constellations
    Parade across the heavens –
    And the shooting stars remind us of
    The fireflies of summer.

    Ah Winter, the Solstice, the longest night –
    The Yule Log crackling in the fire –
    The air filled with sounds of friendship
    And the scents of candle wax and conifer and spice
    And good things cooking on the stove.

    And deep within the womb of Mother Earth –
    There is a quiet stirring –
    I have conceived! New life is coming!
    And once again we celebrate
    The cycles of the seasons.

    14dec2012

    Sandy Pearsall
  • I can relate

    Gene
  • Hi,
    I had my first grandchild and its a great feeling, especially when we talk about sports!!!!!
    I enjoyed your story, how do you do it with no inside bathroom????

    You need to take cruise at christmas time. Come on down to florida thats where all the birds are!!!
    alan lazar

    alan lazar

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